The following probably goes without saying but in case there are any of you that don't know the social "dos" and "don'ts" of talking to someone going through a break up, here's a helpful hint:
If the broken up person says they either don't know or don't want to talk about why a break up has occurred, don't just start guessing.
Example: "Hmm, do you think maybe it's because of your weight?" or "Could it be because you don't have much of a career?"
If someone loses their job, you don't ask them if they think it's because they're stupid or lazy. Yet somehow playing "pin the tail on the break up reason" is fair game for some people.
How could that possibly help the situation? Regardless of whether you've sleuthed out the mystery behind the break up, your guessing is only going to make the person feel worse about themselves AND not only will it point out the negative things about that person, but that THEY have noticed these things and consider them logical reasons behind someone leaving.
It's like if someone finds our their ex has jumped straight into another relationship and then gets asked, "Do you think they were seeing them behind your back?" Of course that thought has crossed your mind and now it's just been confirmed as a legitimate concern. How is that helpful? How is that supportive?
At least I don't have to worry about the second scenario... I can think of a lot of choice adjectives for my ex right now, but I know that "cheater" isn't one of them.
But seriously, don't guess why he left. If there's a reason, I've thought of it. I don't need help compiling of list, thankyouverymuch.
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